All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
