I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
