She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
