Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
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I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize