better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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