she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
