i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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