I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
