his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
