No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
