billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
