Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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