I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
