He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
