what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
