I wish life had little blips of pornography
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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