i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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