so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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