I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
