Can i not drive my cunt home
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
