I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
