I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
where are my eyebrows?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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