i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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