so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
