Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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