just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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