Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize