this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize