I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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