Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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