she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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