I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
