so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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