your thong is hanging out like whoa
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
