Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize