So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
