then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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