Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
