think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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