I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
