The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
