Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
