Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
