I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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