FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
