Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
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It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Pooping to opera.
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