I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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