look no pants
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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