i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
