There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize