Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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