yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize