I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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