I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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