Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
