Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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