What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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