Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
even my farts smell like vagina
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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