He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
