I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
