hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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