I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
